Crossover crack
Aug. 22nd, 2010 12:01 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
baroqueangelTitle: Cracktastic drabble for Cheryl.
Pairing/Characters: Renji/Ichigo, Havoc/Roy/Ed
Rating: NC 17
Warning: Oral, crack – yes this does deserve a warning, trust me :D
Timeline: AU – What timeline, seriously.
Words: 1,105
Summary: Smut followed by insanity?? It’s crossover crack, what more summary do you need?
A.N: I have no idea, I think I need sleep XD I wrote this to say thanks for the virtual gift, I’ve had a bit of a block for a while, now I think I may be getting past it :)
Ichigo looked up at the red-head before him. Renji’s face was flushed, his eyes glazed as he looked back at the younger male. Ichigo smiled at the look in Renji’s eyes, it never ceased to amaze him how much control he could gain over the older shinigami at times like these.
His tongue darted out just long enough to swipe briefly at the tip of Renji’s cock before retreating back to his mouth. The sudden hitch in breathing coming from above him was music to his ears, his favourite track in fact. He moved his head forward slightly, his tongue coming out to play again.
This time he didn’t move quickly, instead he moved agonizingly slowly, his hands coming up to Renji’s hips to hold him down when he felt the man begin to move trying to buck up, wanting Ichigo to swallow him completely and not just play around.
Ichigo’s tongue swept up the underside of Renji’s cock, slowly working his way up the vein before reaching the tip where he seemed to slow even more which really shouldn’t have been possible by any law of physics. He gathered all the precum, making sure not to miss a drop before rolling his tongue back into his mouth. He made a show of swallowing then licking his lips before smiling predatorily and going back to work.
His tongue swirled around the tip before he closed his mouth over it and bobbed his head down. At that point it sounded like Renji had stopped breathing altogether and Ichigo smiled around the mouthful of cock he now had. He went as low as he could, he hadn’t quite mastered his gag reflex yet but he more than made up for that in other ways.
As his head bobbed and his tongue mapped every contour of flesh in his mouth Renji slowly remembered how to breathe and Ichigo sped up when Renji’s breathing did. He could feel Renji’s hand move to his hair and he knew his lover was close to release and he prepared himself to swallow whatever came.
Renji’s release came fast and hard and he struggled to swallow all of the hot salty fluid as he listened to the red-head scream his name. He wasn’t sure how he managed not to choke but finally it was over and he let Renji’s softening cock fall from his mouth as he sat back on his heals and looked up into the sated face of his shinigami lover.
The man was smiling contentedly, his face flushed and sweaty. Ichigo smiled back as Renji held out his hand for him to take, he took it and Renji pulled him forward getting Ichigo to straddle his legs. Renji lifted his free hand up to cup Ichigo’s face before leaning in for a soft kiss that lasted moments but felt amazing. When he pulled back he smiled again, a soft smile full of love and warmth.
“Your turn Ichigo.”
~~~~~~####~~~~~~
Edward: Is it our turn yet?
Ichigo: Do you mind? I was about to get fucked here.
Ed: You just got something, it’s our turn.
Ichigo: What do you mean ‘our’? You look alone to me.
Ed: They’re coming; I just arrived a bit premature that’s all.
Ichigo: I bet that happens a lot huh?
Ed: Was that an insult? That sounded like an insult to me.
Roy: Of course it was an insult Ed; it just went over your head that’s all.
Ed: Was that a short joke?
Ichigo: Who are you? Are you his dad or something?
Roy: *Mouth hanging open in shock*
Havoc: We’re his lovers actually.
Ichigo: His lovers? Really?
Renji: He has two?
Havoc: Ed’s too much for one person to handle. Isn’t that right Roy?
Roy: *Still silently in shock*
Havoc: Roy? You still with us there?
Ed: Hey, colonel bastard, wake up!
Roy: *Shaken from his shocked state by Ed's shout* Do I really look old enough to be his father?
Havoc: Of course not. *Sighs heavily*
Renji: Guys, do you mind. I was kind of trying to fuck my guy here.
Havoc: Yeah, sorry. Ed heard this was for Cheryl and wanted to come along, we did try to stop him.
Roy: But sometimes it’s just easier to clean up after him than stop him. *Notices Ed walking behind Renji and staring at him* Ed what in the Hell are you doing?
Ed: These tattoos seem to be everywhere. Are they everywhere?
Ichigo: Hey, stop eyeing up my man will you!
Ed: Chill, I was only looking at the tattoos. Mine’s a little smaller than his.
Renji: You have a tattoo? Where?
Ed: *Blushing bright red* Erm…well…it’s…somewhere. So did it hurt when you had them done?
Renji: Not really, it was like a rite of passage for me so any pain there was became a part of that rite.
Ichigo: Renji, can you please stop talking to the short person so we can get back to business.
Ed: Who are you calling so short an erect penis is bigger?
Roy: *Head in hand* He didn’t say that Edward. Now come along, we have our own celebration to have.
Havoc: Yeah Ed, there are problems that need taking care of.
Ed: Fine, but this isn’t over ginger boy.
Ichigo: Ginger boy! Is that the best you’ve got pipsqueak?
Ed: Why you…*Roy and Havoc step in and start dragging Ed out by his arms* I’ll get you yet you second rate manga character.
Ichigo: Second rate? *being held back by a rather turned on Renji* Second rate? At least my manga’s still going you has-been!
Ed: Has been? Your main antagonist is a butterfly! You sorry excuse for a shonen bishi!
Ichigo: He’s not a butterfly! He’s…complicated. And who are you calling a shonen bishi?
Ed: Complicated my arse, your mangaka got bored, either that or he was high!
Ichigo: Well your mangaka paired you with a woman! Who’s the high one now?
Ed: Don’t you ever mention that! That did not happen! It was a bloody dream!
Roy: Sorry about this, carry on. *He and Havoc drag Ed out of room leaving Ichigo and Renji alone*. Are you as horny as I am after that Jean?
Havoc: Hell yeah, let’s find a bedroom somewhere.
Roy: Or failing that, a wall would do *Voices fade away*.
Ichigo: Opinionated little shit.
Renji: Fuck you’re hot when you’re angry.
Ichigo: *Still fuming but now horny too* How hot?
Renji: You’re not gonna be walking for a month *Wrestles Ichigo to the floor and proceeds to do very naughty things to him*
Ichigo: *After Renji has found a particularly sensitive spot* Fuck Renji! Do that again.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2010-08-22 01:56 am (UTC)That was awesome!!! I'm still grinning. I LOVED it to death! Particularly Ed's shots at the series; I'd love to see him call Aizen a butterfly to his face (or Butterflizen, as I just read on tvtropes). *snort*
Thank you soooooooo much for this! It's so sweet of you. More importantly, I'm glad this broke your block; I expect more pervy things from you now. :D
You are awesome. *hugs
gropes*no subject
Date: 2010-08-22 01:59 pm (UTC)I kept getting annoyed with it because I knew it was going to be crack but while I was writing the smut at the beginning it wouldn't give me a good point to introduce the insanity - which is actually the only reason you got a complete bit of smut :P
You also almost got a longer section of insults but I had to stop myself, I could have gone on for pages throwing jibes back and forth between them while Renji got better aquainted with Roy and Havoc ;P - And now my brain is heading off on a bad tangent >.<
Butterflizen lol, I'm going to have to remember that XD
*hugs
gropesback*And edited because I used the wrong icon ^^;
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Date: 2011-03-28 06:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-28 12:42 pm (UTC)*Revives you* Glad you liked the crack XD <333
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Date: 2010-08-22 06:54 am (UTC)P.S.: I'd totally be eyeing those tats, too. Where's Ed's at?
no subject
Date: 2010-08-22 02:17 pm (UTC)I wouldn't just be eyeing the tats ;D
And Ed's tat has an interesting story behind it. He actualy got it when he was drunk one night, he was out with Roy and Havoc and they happened to pass a tattoo parlour. Ed being Ed suggested that the other two were really wusses and would never be able to handle the pain which of course meant that a wager was made.
Havoc and Roy would get a small tat each on their hips, Ed could choose them, which of course they both regretted later, and if either of them cryed out they would streak through central. If neither of them cried out then Ed had to get a tattoo of their choice in a spot that they chose, each.
Ed felt rather sure of himself and agreed, which had he been sober would never have happened. Roy and Havoc look rather cute with their matching Tinkerbell tattoos, complete with magic wand and sparkles but unlucky for Ed, neither of them cried out except when Ed initially chose the tat which according to the rules didn't count :)
So poor Ed had trouble sitting down for a week as his tat's healed. One butt cheek sports a rather impressive bright pink 'Pegasus My little Pony' and the other says, 'I'm the bitch' with little butterflies and stars around it XD
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Date: 2010-08-22 10:10 pm (UTC)Also, how long have you had this new layout? I'm so unobservant sometimes.
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Date: 2010-08-23 07:15 pm (UTC)I got bored with the other one :)
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Date: 2011-03-26 06:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-26 07:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-26 07:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-26 08:06 pm (UTC)<-- And the icon inspired me <3333
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Date: 2011-03-27 02:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-27 02:46 am (UTC)The banter could have gone on forever, probably culminating in them having sex, or is that just me thinking that? ;)
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Date: 2011-03-27 06:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-28 07:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-28 12:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-28 07:32 am (UTC)Eh well. It was worth the fail just to read this again. Still loving it.
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Date: 2011-03-28 12:35 pm (UTC)I told you I was behind on my comm posting, this is how behind ^^;
Oh, and what's Bleach News?? *Is so very clueless*
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Date: 2011-05-11 01:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-01-20 06:51 am (UTC)Best line. Hah!
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Date: 2014-02-04 02:58 pm (UTC)I could have carried this on for pages, it was just so much fun :P
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