Two in one night *\o/*

[baroqueangel]

Title: Why drinking is bad (a.k.a. How Ed got his Tattoos)
Pairing/Characters: Havoc/Roy/Ed
Rating: PG–13
Warning: Swearing, stupidity, drunken insanity
Words: 591
Summary: Ed regrets ever drinking and so he should.
A.N: This started life as an offhand comment of Ed’s in a crack fic and grew into a full idea in the comments so of course it had to be written. You gotta love bright pink ponies XD Again, hot off the press.
 

He was never drinking again. He cringed as the needle moved over his skin. It was official, pain made you sober, no matter how plastered you started out. It would have been nice to find that out about three hours ago before he had made the single most stupid mistake of his life, apart from the obvious of course, and not while he was still making it.

He gripped the table he was currently lying on and buried his head in the pillow the guy had given him. A simple bet, a simple bet that he would never have made sober. Still, how was his inebriated brain supposed to gauge how pain resistant Mustang and Havoc were? They shouldn’t have made the bet with him in the first place! It wasn’t fair damnit! This should not be happening! How was he supposed to explain this to Al, not that he thought Al would be seeing his ass anytime soon but what if he did?

Explaining a basic tattoo like the one had had wanted, the gargoyle with flames, would have been easy. But this? How would he ever live this down? To be fair though he was more worried about getting home first. His ass was already sore and he was in so much pain that he had to wonder just how in the Hell he was going to pull up his tight leather pants without passing out. Would he even be able to pull them up past his hips? Mustang and Havoc were going to pay for this! He was going to make sure of it.

A simple bet, make them get a tattoo, if they cried out they would have to streak through Central Headquarters, no problems right? His drunken brain had screamed with laughter because of course they would cry out. He was making them get it on their hips, right over the bone. It should have been a done deal. How the fuck had they stayed silent? Havoc fine but Mustang? Fuck, fuck, fuck!

Ed gritted his teeth as a fresh wave of pain went through him. His ass was so sore right now and every new prick with the needle made it that much worse. Had the bastard and the smoker chosen something good this may have been worth it but it wasn’t even close. Not even the matching Tinkerbell tattoos complete with wands and sparkles that the others now sported on their hips made up for the humiliation.

He should have seen it coming, should have known they would do this. This would be why he was never drinking again, his sober brain would never have allowed this travesty to happen.

He muffled yet another cry as the tattooist added more pink to his second tattoo. Mustang had been true to form when picking Ed’s first tattoo. Writing over Ed’s left butt cheek that read ‘I’m the bitch’ surrounded by butterflies and stars. And as if that wasn’t bad enough Havoc’s choice had been worse, he had really outdone himself with his evilness. Currently being tattooed on Ed’s right butt cheek was a bright pink Pegasus My Little Pony.

Ed could have cried, not only was he going to be unable to sit down for over a week, it was being caused by a bright pink flying horse.

There was one consolation though, because of where his tattoos were, the tattooist had said no sex for at least two weeks so that they could heal properly. Now that had made Mustang and Havoc cry out.