Drabble - Blasphemy!
Nov. 16th, 2012 12:41 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
baroqueangelTitle: Blasphemy!
Pairing/Characters: Roy/God >.> Yes, you read that right…
Rating: Somewhere above a PG-13 ??
Warning: Blasphemy, was the title not clear enough on that??
Words: 947
Summary: A point needs proving, not quite sure this is how you prove it though.
A.N: Sorry. I’m so sorry. A while ago I remember someone saying something about Roy and his skills and I think I remember thinking that we could test that on God so I wrote down the prompt ‘Roy Mustang tops God’ and then promptly forgot about it. Until I found it yesterday. And I wrote this…I apologise to anyone that this offends only I don’t because I’ve warned you enough about the blasphemy and it is crack fic so it’s supposed to be insane and seriously, this is me we’re talking about what did you expect and just…yeah, I am so going to Hell :P
~~
“And just who are you supposed to be?”
“I’m God.”
“If I remember my history correctly God was a fictitious character made up by superstitious people to explain things that can now be explained by alchemy. Didn’t people stop believing in you centuries ago?”
“Do I really look fictitious to you? Also, there are some that still believe, not as many as before but still.”
“I supposed you could always be the gate playing tricks on me. I hear it likes to do that to people.”
“I am not ‘The Gate’ and what kind of name is ‘The Gate’ anyway? You know he stole that whole white space and guarded door thing from me He just made it cruder, St Peter and the Pearly Gates are way classier than his hideously engraved door.”
“A little touchy aren’t we? From what I remember you’re supposed to be all loving and all forgiving.”
“That was before you lot ousted me for some pretty magic tricks and a bastard that likes to steal body parts. Now I’m just all pissed.”
“So you can’t be God then.”
“How’d you work that one out?”
“God was all forgiving; if you can’t forgive us you can’t be God. It’s as simple as that.”
“How is that simple? And seriously, what kind of logic is that? In what universe does that make sense?”
“It’s Edward Elric logic.”
“I think you’ve been spending too much time with that kid Roy. Especially if his logic is rubbing off on you that much.”
“You’re probably right, but still, I can see his point.”
“Oh for cryin’ out…wait, are you not even a little surprised that I knew your name without you telling me it?”
“Well, if you are God then shouldn’t you know my name? Plus you could always be a stalker, I have lots of those.”
“So you admit I’m God then? And hey! I am not a stalker!!”
“The gate would know my name too.”
“You really are a stubborn bastard aren’t you?! Ed really called that one.”
“There is an easy way you could prove to me that you’re God you know.”
“I shouldn’t have to prove it but go on then, I’ll humour you.”
“Well, surely having sex with you should be the best ever right? It should really take me to, what was that place called?”
“Heaven, wait, what??”
“Yeah, Heaven, that was it. Surely fucking you should take me to Heaven. That would definitely prove it. And I could say I’d fucked a deity which would be the best conversation starter in existence don’t you think?”
“Hang on a second, how did we get from you not believing that I’m God to the idea of us having sex?”
“Hey, I’m only saying. You’re not against same sex relationships are you?”
“No, love is love, pure and simple and I’m happy when people find it no matter where that path leads them so…stop changing the subject will you?!”
“Don’t worry, I already know you’re not God so it doesn’t really matter does it?”
“Hang on a minute! You’re saying if I fuck you and you go to Heaven, so to speak, during orgasm then that will prove to you that I’m God?”
“Pretty much.”
“I can’t believe I’m considering this.”
“You don’t have to keep up the charade you know. You could just admit that you’re lying and that would be that.”
“You know what, fuck you!”
“That is kind of my plan.”
“I’ll prove to you that I’m God you arrogant son of a bitch!”
“Should God really be using that kind of language?”
“You are infuriating! Now get here so I can ‘take you to Heaven’.”
*Insert mass amounts of snogging and groping here, God really gets into it when he’s trying to prove a point*
*Insert heavy breathing and swollen lips and really tight pants here*
“You convinced yet?”
“Not quite, I think you may need to try a little harder.”
*Insert more snogging and groping here. Also moaning and straining and undressing.*
“Oh, by the way,”
“What Roy?”
“I’m on top.”
*Insert smirking here*
“Huh??!!”
*At this point Roy pinned God to the floor and proceeded to do wicked, wicked things to him. God got thoroughly screwed, several times - Roy needed extra convincing. It did get a little embarrassing when God started screaming his own name but then ‘Oh God’ is a universal cry and can he help it if he’s been influenced by the masses?? But it got less embarrassing and more irritating when Roy turned around and asked if that meant he was God now at which point even more convincing took place as God topped from the bottom to prove just who the real God was around here, although he couldn’t deny the fact that a certain colonel Roy Mustang was rather God-like in the sack.*
“You know, I made you a bit too well.”
“I know.”
“I also made you a bit too smug.”
“Yep.”
“Up for another round?”
Anything for you God. You going to call out your own name again?”
“Oh, shut up and fuck me!”
*Insert smirk and more sex here*
Addendum – Roy was really looking forward to going out and trying his new pick up line ‘I’ve made a deity scream out his own name, do you want to come back to my place and find out how I did it?’ He figured that maybe the line needed work but it was going to be fun trying out all the variations for it.
Second addendum – Angel realised that she was probably going to Hell for this but she would do it all over again if she had the choice.
Pairing/Characters: Roy/God >.> Yes, you read that right…
Rating: Somewhere above a PG-13 ??
Warning: Blasphemy, was the title not clear enough on that??
Words: 947
Summary: A point needs proving, not quite sure this is how you prove it though.
A.N: Sorry. I’m so sorry. A while ago I remember someone saying something about Roy and his skills and I think I remember thinking that we could test that on God so I wrote down the prompt ‘Roy Mustang tops God’ and then promptly forgot about it. Until I found it yesterday. And I wrote this…I apologise to anyone that this offends only I don’t because I’ve warned you enough about the blasphemy and it is crack fic so it’s supposed to be insane and seriously, this is me we’re talking about what did you expect and just…yeah, I am so going to Hell :P
~~
“And just who are you supposed to be?”
“I’m God.”
“If I remember my history correctly God was a fictitious character made up by superstitious people to explain things that can now be explained by alchemy. Didn’t people stop believing in you centuries ago?”
“Do I really look fictitious to you? Also, there are some that still believe, not as many as before but still.”
“I supposed you could always be the gate playing tricks on me. I hear it likes to do that to people.”
“I am not ‘The Gate’ and what kind of name is ‘The Gate’ anyway? You know he stole that whole white space and guarded door thing from me He just made it cruder, St Peter and the Pearly Gates are way classier than his hideously engraved door.”
“A little touchy aren’t we? From what I remember you’re supposed to be all loving and all forgiving.”
“That was before you lot ousted me for some pretty magic tricks and a bastard that likes to steal body parts. Now I’m just all pissed.”
“So you can’t be God then.”
“How’d you work that one out?”
“God was all forgiving; if you can’t forgive us you can’t be God. It’s as simple as that.”
“How is that simple? And seriously, what kind of logic is that? In what universe does that make sense?”
“It’s Edward Elric logic.”
“I think you’ve been spending too much time with that kid Roy. Especially if his logic is rubbing off on you that much.”
“You’re probably right, but still, I can see his point.”
“Oh for cryin’ out…wait, are you not even a little surprised that I knew your name without you telling me it?”
“Well, if you are God then shouldn’t you know my name? Plus you could always be a stalker, I have lots of those.”
“So you admit I’m God then? And hey! I am not a stalker!!”
“The gate would know my name too.”
“You really are a stubborn bastard aren’t you?! Ed really called that one.”
“There is an easy way you could prove to me that you’re God you know.”
“I shouldn’t have to prove it but go on then, I’ll humour you.”
“Well, surely having sex with you should be the best ever right? It should really take me to, what was that place called?”
“Heaven, wait, what??”
“Yeah, Heaven, that was it. Surely fucking you should take me to Heaven. That would definitely prove it. And I could say I’d fucked a deity which would be the best conversation starter in existence don’t you think?”
“Hang on a second, how did we get from you not believing that I’m God to the idea of us having sex?”
“Hey, I’m only saying. You’re not against same sex relationships are you?”
“No, love is love, pure and simple and I’m happy when people find it no matter where that path leads them so…stop changing the subject will you?!”
“Don’t worry, I already know you’re not God so it doesn’t really matter does it?”
“Hang on a minute! You’re saying if I fuck you and you go to Heaven, so to speak, during orgasm then that will prove to you that I’m God?”
“Pretty much.”
“I can’t believe I’m considering this.”
“You don’t have to keep up the charade you know. You could just admit that you’re lying and that would be that.”
“You know what, fuck you!”
“That is kind of my plan.”
“I’ll prove to you that I’m God you arrogant son of a bitch!”
“Should God really be using that kind of language?”
“You are infuriating! Now get here so I can ‘take you to Heaven’.”
*Insert mass amounts of snogging and groping here, God really gets into it when he’s trying to prove a point*
*Insert heavy breathing and swollen lips and really tight pants here*
“You convinced yet?”
“Not quite, I think you may need to try a little harder.”
*Insert more snogging and groping here. Also moaning and straining and undressing.*
“Oh, by the way,”
“What Roy?”
“I’m on top.”
*Insert smirking here*
“Huh??!!”
*At this point Roy pinned God to the floor and proceeded to do wicked, wicked things to him. God got thoroughly screwed, several times - Roy needed extra convincing. It did get a little embarrassing when God started screaming his own name but then ‘Oh God’ is a universal cry and can he help it if he’s been influenced by the masses?? But it got less embarrassing and more irritating when Roy turned around and asked if that meant he was God now at which point even more convincing took place as God topped from the bottom to prove just who the real God was around here, although he couldn’t deny the fact that a certain colonel Roy Mustang was rather God-like in the sack.*
“You know, I made you a bit too well.”
“I know.”
“I also made you a bit too smug.”
“Yep.”
“Up for another round?”
Anything for you God. You going to call out your own name again?”
“Oh, shut up and fuck me!”
*Insert smirk and more sex here*
Addendum – Roy was really looking forward to going out and trying his new pick up line ‘I’ve made a deity scream out his own name, do you want to come back to my place and find out how I did it?’ He figured that maybe the line needed work but it was going to be fun trying out all the variations for it.
Second addendum – Angel realised that she was probably going to Hell for this but she would do it all over again if she had the choice.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2012-11-16 01:22 pm (UTC)If fanfic can send you to hell lots of us will be going.
Look at the bible based pairs in Supernatural. That fandom will be a large chunk alone. ;)
no subject
Date: 2012-11-17 02:00 pm (UTC)Glad you liked it <3
no subject
Date: 2012-11-16 09:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-11-17 02:01 pm (UTC)I'm glad you liked <3
no subject
Date: 2012-11-17 02:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-11-17 02:02 pm (UTC)Glad you liked <3
no subject
Date: 2012-11-17 03:14 am (UTC)This proves exactly why you should be worshiped. Roy tops God? All the Yes xD
no subject
Date: 2012-11-17 02:04 pm (UTC)No worship, this is just my insanity shinning through a little more than usual :D
Roy will always top God (Hughes tops them both >.>) ;)
Glad you liked <3
no subject
Date: 2012-11-17 10:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-11-17 02:05 pm (UTC)Glad you liked <3
no subject
Date: 2012-11-20 06:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-11-20 08:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-11-21 12:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-11-21 08:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-11-22 02:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-11-21 01:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-11-21 08:35 pm (UTC)Glad you liked :)