Drabble - For Kei <3

[baroqueangel]

Title: Sausages
Pairing/Characters: Hei/Ed
Rating: PG
Warning: Bad humour? Insanity?
Words: 606
Summary: Ed tries to save some money and pretty much fails.
A.N: Written for slinkslowdown. He gave me the prompt Hei/Ed, Sausage and humour back in November and I’ve only just got to it >.< But I had to finish it now because it is his birthday tomorrow and I usually fail so hard at finishing fic for his birthday (I've been writing one for three years now that is still unfinished ^^; Sorry Kei *Angel is so much fail*) so HAPPY BIRTHDAY KEI! I hope you like it :-)

There was a recession on in Germany, this caused a problem for Edward and Alfons as they didn’t earn a lot of money so Ed had suggested buying some gadgets that would help them save a few Deutschmarks. Alfons wasn’t sure what Ed had had in mind when he’d suggested a sausage maker but he was damn sure it wasn’t this!

Alfons watched as Ed put more meat into the device and then continued to watch as most of it found a way back out of the device. They could get the ingredients for sausages much cheaper than actually buying them already made plus it looked easy when the butcher did it, at least that was what Ed had said at the time, he had also said that being geniuses they would have no problems figuring out how to use it.

He really couldn’t have been more wrong!

The kitchen was a mess, there was sausage meat and egg yolk sticking to the counter, shells scattered across the floor and Ed seemed to be wearing most of what he had tried putting into the machine. Alfons held back a snigger. If he let the sound out Ed would kill him, or worse, deprive him of sex.

“I don’t understand” Ed whined, “This should have been easy for a genius like me.” Alfons rolled his eyes before replying.

“Maybe you were just a bit…enthusiastic about it.” Ed’s head shot up to look away from the machine and the mess he had made, instead choosing to stare directly at the other man. Having Ed’s eyes fixed on him was very unnerving and it caused Alfons to fidget slightly.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Ed demanded.

“Well, you were a bit liberal with the ingredients. Maybe you should have… followed… the… instructions.” Alfons’s voice had gotten gradually smaller until the last word was barely an audible whisper.

“I’m a genius! I shouldn’t need instructions!” Ed screeched. Alfons sighed as he watched Ed look at the machine as if it was doing this on purpose just to annoy him before the shorter blond started to mutter about how this shouldn’t be happening and how this would never have happened if he’d still had his alchemy because the machine would now be an ornament, preferably one that looked like a gargoyle because at least they were cool but then the machine didn’t really deserve to be cool because it hated him and sucked and didn’t want to work for him and...etc. etc.

“Ed," Alfons interrupted his rant, "why don’t you go take a shower and get cleaned up? I’ll clean up out here and then when you’re ready we’ll try again. But we’ll be following the instructions when we do!” Ed looked like he might blow for a second but then he took a deep breath, sighed, and replied in a somewhat calmer voice than Alfons had expected.

“Fine, I know you’re right and I guess I could really use a shower.” Ed looked down at himself and cringed, he looked an absolute mess. He had sausage meat drying into his clothes and hair, his hands were sticky from the eggs and somehow the flour had got into places it really shouldn’t have been. “I think cleaning the kitchen can wait though.” Alfons looked at the mischievous smile on Ed’s face and he smiled back.

“What did you have in mind Edward?”

“”Why don’t we go find out?” Ed grabbed Alfons’s hand and led him towards the bathroom. Alfons thought that cleaning Ed would definitely be more fun than cleaning the kitchen. Ed had some far more interesting places to scrub.