Ficlet - Nightmares

[baroqueangel]

Title: Nightmares
Pairing/Characters: Ed, Roy, Al
Rating: PG-13
Warning: A whole lot of angst.
Timeline: Original anime, after the end of the series but before the movie.
Words: 726
Summary: Even with so much distance between them, there is still one thing they all share. Nightmares.
A.N: This was written for the prompt illusion at FMA_fic_contest, the second I saw the prompt I had this in mind. More angst but that’s okay, I like angst XD. This is set in three little ficlets that are sort of connected, I hope it’s not confusing. My brain tends to work differently when I’ve not had a lot of sleep.

Darkness, Inky blackness that consumes him. Hands pulling, dragging him further into nothingness. Screams lost in the void. Laughter surrounding him, faces with no emotions laughing at him. The figures disappear only to be replaced by one he doesn’t want to see but that never really leaves him. A sound so abhorrent that it turns his blood to ice. A voice, calling his name, a hand dripping blood reaches out to him, wants him to help. It points at him, accusing him, naming him as its creator.

The scene changes, the thing is gone leaving behind all the pain its memory creates. He releases a breath, relief washes through him but it is only a temporary reprieve. A voice behind him, unhappy, tear filled. He turns, already expecting the worst and he is not disappointed. Before him, a boy, looking so like him but not him. His brother as he was before he caused him pain, before he took away his future. He wants the other thing back, he can handle that but he can’t handle this.

“You did this brother!” he tries to look away as an arm is pulled from the body before him. “This is your fault!” a second arm, then a leg. “I could have had a life!” The stare, so accusing, so cold. “I could have been happy!” Only the features left, those staring eyes, the cruel mouth. “I hate you brother!” It is gone, swallowed, taken away.

“AL” Ed’s scream rents the air, his heart hammers in his chest. It was only a dream, a nightmare, an illusion. Al is safe in the other world, he hopes.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A boy stands before him, a weapon that he created. Blood smears his face and hands, a body lies at his feet. He doesn’t want to see but he can’t look away. He created him, he placed the blood on his hands. A scream from behind, he turns to look. How did he get back to Ishbal? The fires, did he start them? A body before him, blackened and burnt. He retches at the smell but the horror isn’t over. The head moves, it turns to look at him, a smile on its disfigured face.

“Did you know this would happen?” That voice, it couldn’t be. “Did you think about this when you found me?” He was gone, lost in the underground city. “Did you think about what I would lose?” He wasn’t in Ishbal. “How do you feel knowing that you killed me?” He never burnt. “I can never forgive you Mustang!”

“Edward!” It wasn’t a scream, wasn’t a whimper, just an exclamation. The images danced before his vision as he sat in bed. Denial hit him, the images were not true, Ed was never burnt, Ed wasn’t dead. He would continue to believe Ed was alive. It was all he could do to stop him hating himself more than he already did for taking the boys life away from him. The comfort this thought gave was just an illusion.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

He ran and ran, never seeming to get anywhere. He thought he could remember…something, but it vanished, like it always did. He stopped and looked around; sand surrounded him, sand and ruins. There was a girl; she was younger than him, no more than a child. He didn’t know her, she wasn’t from the village but he thought he recognised her. A name, Nina, he doesn’t know why but he thinks it is hers. He calls to her and she turns towards him, a smile on her face as she recognises him.

“Bigger brother” she runs towards him but never makes it. Slowly her image fades, replaced by another. Confusion sweeps through him at the sight of an animal. Its long mane flows like hair and he could swear it was crying. A word flashes before him, ‘Chimera’, but he doesn’t understand why. A hand, not attached to a body, presses against the animals head and it explodes. Deconstruction, he recognises the alchemical form. The hand moves towards him and…

“NO!” he shoots up in his bed, knowing the call will alert Winry in the next room. Another nightmare, one of so many since he came back to Risembool. He had almost remembered, he was so close but it had gone. Like his nightmare the knowledge of his past was just an illusion.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A.N - There was originally a fourth part to this but it didn't really fit with the overall feeling of the piece, lots of people suggestted loosing it. I will add it now, mostly because my OCD is telling me that it goes with the fic and if I'm posting the fic then that must be posted too or it is not complete as was written but I'm keeping it seperate from the fic because my muse is screaming at me to do that under pain of never being able to write again. So the last ficlet follows, oh and as an after thought I now only have 36 FMA WIP's :) 2 down in 2 days, yay.

A hand strokes his cheek, soft and sure. He smiles at the touch that had once been timid but no longer was. He feels his flesh prickle at the touch of cool automail as it ghosts over his chest. Slowly he stretches, pushes up into the touch, encouraging the hand to move over his skin. The metal finds a nipple and tweaks, not too hard. He exhales at the touch, loving the feeling.

They are moving together, his flesh surrounded by tight heat, pulling on him as he moves. They are in synch, moving together in a practised rhythm. A scream as he hits that one spot he always loves. Hands pull at him, automail squeezing tight on his shoulder. It doesn’t hurt, not anymore. He is pulled down into a kiss, lips pressed to his with bruising force.

His pace quickens as he nears his release. Faster and faster, his body demands it. So close, just a little more. He can feel it as legs tighten around his waist, drawing him in as far as he can go. His release crests over him and he screams out his joy.

“I love you so much…Edward.”

Havoc wakes on his release, alone. Tears fall from his eyes as, yet again, he thinks of all he never had the chance to do. He never told the young man how he felt, he never lived out this moment. It has always been a dream, a fantasy, one that can never now be turned into reality. He longs for the touch of automail on his heated skin, but all it can ever be is a painful illusion.

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