Dreams

[baroqueangel]

Title: Dreams
Pairing/Characters: Hei/Ed (A first for me)
Rating: PG 13???
Warning: Angst, implied yaoi
Words: 860
A.N. Inspired by a prompt from Blysse on AFF.net, she said coffee, I have no idea how I got from there to here. There is another one inspired by coffee too and I’ll get it up soon. Being back at work really hinders the writing process XD

He couldn’t sleep, he didn’t want to sleep. When he closed his eyes images flashed behind them. Things he didn’t want to remember, didn’t want to see.

Coffee helped, it kept him awake, kept him from reliving the past. It stopped him from having to see all the sins he had committed.

It didn’t stop him missing though. Missing his friends, his family, hell even colonel bastard. If he could just talk to them one more time, just know that they were all okay and that Al was whole again.

Tears threatened to spill from his eyes but he ruthlessly clamped down on them and held them back. He had shed so many tears when no one could see, when he was alone but he didn’t want to shed more now.

He tightened his grip on the mug feeling the heat of the liquid inside seep through into his left hand while his right one felt nothing. He looked down and a fresh wave of questions tore at him. Did the fact that he still had his artificial arm mean his final transmutation had failed? Had the gate taken him but not given him Al in return? Was equivalent exchange really a myth like Dante had said?

Too many questions and no way to answer them, not anymore. He took another sip of the rapidly cooling liquid, feeling as if he could taste the caffeine itself moving through his system. How many nights had he done this? It was becoming a ritual for him, almost like he was addicted to the brown substance. In reality he was addicted to the nights free of nightmares, free of waking up in a cold sweat shouting Al’s name into the darkness.

Would he ever be able to face sleep again without first thinking of staying awake instead?

He heard footsteps and didn’t even bother to look up. The steps were even and soft, someone walking barefoot across the floor. He put his mug down as the person walked up behind him and wrapped his arms around Ed’s shoulders, leaning down to rest his chin on the top of Ed’s head.

“Not sleeping again my love?” Ed reached his hands up and held on tight to Alfons’s arms, willing the taller blond that so resembled his brother never to let go.

“Who needs sleep anyway? I’m already in a dream.” Ed leaned back into Alfons’s embrace as he heard an annoyed intake of breath from behind him.

“Are we still but a dream to you Edward? Have I not proven that this is real time and again?” Ed could hear the sorrow in Alfons’s voice and he regretted his words. It was true that sometimes he thought he was in a dream and in his mad rush to get home he forgot about Alfons’s feelings but he never meant to hurt the man. Alfons was the only good thing about this place and the only times it felt real were when they were together.

“I’m sorry. I always say the wrong thing.” Ed hung his head, unable to hold it up any longer. Guilt weighed him down. Guilt from leaving his own world and guilt for not accepting this one.

“Don’t be sorry my love, I know you don’t mean to say those things.” Alfons tightened his grip and Ed felt safe within the mans arms. “Edward, you need an anchor to this world that’s all. Something that keeps you grounded here and not lost in some dream.”

“Will you be my anchor?” Ed asked knowing already what the reply would be.

“Always.” One word, that was all it took to take down his defences and make the tears flow. Silently they slid down his cheeks and he felt his shoulders shake with unshed sobs.

“Thank you Alfons” Ed choked out the words as he held back the sobs as best he could, the tears may be flowing but they would stay silent. Out of the corner of his eye he saw movement and he felt Alfons’s arms release him. When he looked up Alfons was before him, crouching down to look into his golden eyes.

“You don’t need to thank me. I would do anything for you” Alfons moved his hand up to cup Ed’s cheek, his thumb moving to wipe away the tears. “Now, are you coming to bed or do you want more coffee?” Alfons stood up slowly and waited, holding out his hand towards Ed and looking at him expectantly.

Ed looked at the mug again. It offered him an escape, a way to stay awake and not relive his nightmare of a life. He looked back to Alfons and into those blue eyes that saw right through him. They offered him hope, love and a future. A way to anchor himself to this world, something to cling to when things got rough. There was no contest.

He reached out his hand and took the one that Alfons offered, the taller man pulling him to his feet. As he followed behind his lover to their bedroom he tightened his grip on his hand, knowing he would never need coffee again.

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